2011

As the year comes to a close, I am reflecting on the many blessings we have received this year.  We have had many struggles too, but one day we will probably look back and see many of those as blessings too, so I won't lament them here.

Blessing #1 - Zachariah Nathaniel Didreckson born May 21st at 7:00am.
Blessing #2 - Perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy with Zachary and un-medicated, natural birth (VBAC none the less)
Blessing #3 - Even though the flooring industry has really taken a hit (as most industries have with this recession) God has continued to provide for us.
Blessing #4 - Darren going back to school and finishing his AA.  Now he is on to his BIT (Bachelor in Information Technology)
Blessing #5 - Luke LOVES being homeschooled and I have really enjoyed myself too.  We have taken it step by step, day by day and have truly been blessed in the process.
Blessing #6 - Debbie reading and applying the book "Large Family Logisitcs".  True, we do not have a large family,  but the time management skills I have obtained and the house cleaning regimen I have begun since reading this book has truly saved my sanity!

We look forward to the blessings and challenges of this upcoming year.  Some of them include:

 - Debbie obtaining her home daycare license to help supplement Darren's income.
 - Luke starting math, science and reading.
 - Darren continuing with his college education while maintaining a full time job, being a full time Dad and husband.
 - Zachary, well...just growing up.  : )

2012:  Ready or not, here we come!!!

Dear Children

I did not write this, however I really enjoy it's message.  I have copied it from the blog Hallee the Homemaker.  Now that the hype of Christmas 2011 has come and gone, I would like to share with you what I believe the Jesus of the Bible would say about his birthday celebration:


Author Unknown
Dear Children,
It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the current season. Maybe you’ve forgotten that I wasn’t actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival. Although I do appreciate being remembered anytime.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don’t care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn’t allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santa’s and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn’t be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 – 8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don’t have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don’t you write and tell him that you’ll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can’t afford and they don’t need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don’t know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren’t allowed to wish you a “Merry Christmas” that doesn’t keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn’t make so much money on that day they’d close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary– especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here’s a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no “Christmas” tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don’t know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don’t do things in secret that you wouldn’t do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Don’t forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I’ll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I’ll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :

I LOVE YOU,
JESUS

Well meaning words, gone awry

I just read of the recent announcement that the Duggar family lost baby #20 to miscarriage.  It is sad news to many of us.  It is not uncommon for us to feel sad for the loss of a child, in utero or otherwise.  Their family is in my thoughts and in my prayers.  They are surely going through a difficult time.  I am so very sorry for their loss.

I can understand the outpouring of sympathy, comfort, encouragement and kind words that many want to give to the family in this upsetting time.  What I DON'T understand is why people say some of the most hurtful things, thinking they are being supportive.  Many of these people don't INTEND to be hurtful, but when people don't know what to say, they often say the wrong thing.

When my son Daniel was stillborn, we had much support from family and friends.  They prayed for us, stopped by to visit, brought us meals.  It was so helpful to have so many hands doing their best to ease our suffering.  And suffering is the best word I can use to describe how we were feeling.  However, I experienced first hand how some of the most well meaning friends, family and even complete strangers will offer up words of 'comfort' that can really sting.

"This too, shall pass." - Oh yeah?  If it's going to pass so easily that you felt the need to tell me so, which one of YOUR children would you like to give up and see how easily it 'passes' for you?

"You can always have more children." - Says who?  You don't know that for sure any more than I do.  Only God knows how many children I can give birth to.  Don't make promises you have no way of keeping.

"The Lord gives and the Lord takes away." - WHAT?!?!?  I don't have any more to say about that one...

The list goes on and on.  These comments were said with the best of intentions.  They were said by people who have children and by some who don't.  They were NOT said, however, by anyone who had ever lost a child of their own, as they would have known the destruction these comments can cause.

Regarding the Duggars, on facebook I have seen a number of comments that go something like this:  "I am sorry for their loss, maybe they should take this as a sign that they shouldn't have any more children."  or "I am sorry for their loss, but I hope they get the message."

Who are we to decide how many children a family should have?  Certainly we cannot make that judgement call for a family where the children are obviously so well loved and cared for.  It's none of our business how many children they chose to have and support.  I can only imagine how hurtful these words are to the Duggar family.  Well meaning or not, these words can slice to the core and should not be said, ESPECIALLY during a time of loss.

The best advice I ever heard, I actually overheard of friend of mine telling another friend.  My friend "B" lost multiple children.  She was explaining to a well meaning friend that the words she chose to use to comfort B were not comforting, but actually quite inappropriate and hurtful.  The friend stated she really didn't know what to say, but she certainly didn't mean to be hurtful.  B told her friend, if you don't know what to say, don't say anything at all.

I have to agree.  If you are trying to offer condolences to a friend for a situation you have never personally been exposed to, do just that, offer condolences and then keep your mouth closed.  A simple, "I am so sorry for your loss.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help." goes a long way.  Let the ones who have been there offer up any advice, when asked.

Just my two cents.

Duggar family, I am so sorry for your loss.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.